Thoughts and Impressions

Gadgets, gizmos, etc....

I’ve got to hand it to the Japanese…I’m pretty sure that they’ve created a machine or hand-held device or electronic push-button control panel to do pretty much everything. It’s not surprising in the least that the first robot teacher was invented here. In fact, I’m not entirely convinced that the Japanese are not actually robots who have invented human-like forms to inhabit. Just kidding. But I am pretty sure that the vending machines come alive at night and eat small misbehaved children. Well, that’s the new urban legend I’m starting. You read it here first.

Speaking of vending machines…

They’re ubiquitous, and sell just about everything. Okay, I’m exaggerating, I haven’t actually seen ones that sell much besides drinks (hot & cold), snacks, and cigarettes. And beer, actually, though for alcohol and cigarettes you need a special card that proves you’re of age. But I KNOW the others exist. If nothing else, it would be possible to eat, drink, and smoke for weeks on end in Japan without ever entering a building.

Toilets

Going to the bathroom in Japan is an experience in itself. First, some have what looks like a urinal in the floor, and you’re supposed to squat over it and do your business. I generally avoid them, except when I have no choice, like the port-o-potties at Oktoberfest in Yokohama. I survived it by gripping the bars so as not to topple over, as I hadn’t perfected the power squat quite yet. The fact that my knees were more or less jammed against the door also helped me win the fight against gravity – occasionally it’s of benefit that I’m not Japanese-sized.

On the other hand, there are FANCY toilets that have a push button panel to do all kinds of things. There’s a button to make a flushing sound (not actually flush, just to cover up whatever sounds you might be making), and a button for a bidet, and one to deodorize, and I forget what the others do. I have not actually dared to use most of them, except the flushing sound, that one is just plain entertaining. Oh, the best part – the seats are heated! I am 10 kinds of disappointed that I didn’t get one of these in my apartment.

Recycling

Having grown up in the green (in all senses of the word) Pacific Northwest, I am a fan of recycling and I try to do it whenever possible. Japan is also pro-recycling; however they have created, in my opinion, the most confusing system of doing so I have ever encountered. They categorize the different types of materials to be recycled – logical enough. However, the categories themselves bewilder me – you’ve got “burnables” and “non-burnables,” I still couldn’t tell you entirely what these mean, and also there is a different category for plastic bottles, and plastic food wrappings, and plastic containers. These must all be separated and placed at a mysterious location (can’t read the Japanese sign explaining where & thus have a months’ worth of recycling at my apartment) – and, the best part! – picked up on DIFFERENT days of the week. So beware, ignorant foreigner, do not put your plastic bottles out on Wednesday, that is the other plastics, plastic bottles go with glass bottles and that is a Thursday pick up, and then you’ve got your burnables, Monday and Wednesday, and let’s not forget cans, maybe on Tuesday…or something like that. I guess either I’ll figure it out or have a mountain of rinsed out containers piled around and upon my futon come December.

Happy Pachinko

Of all the Japanese curiousities I’ve come across, this one may baffle me the most. Happy Pachinkos are something like casinos, I guess, and are generally found very near train stations. My friend Eilidh and I popped our heads in one night just to see what all the fuss is about, and found a place that comes close to what I would consider hell. It’s all blindingly bright neon lights and buzzing noises and row upon row of slot machines or video games or I couldn’t tell you what, the din is amazing, all beeps and bleeps and dings and electronic machines that talk to you, and people staring entranced at the screens as they chain smoke and try to get matching cherries or make the bunny hop over the mushroom or shoot the bird out of the tree. I have no idea, actually, I just ran out of there as fast as I could.

Random

Just stuff that has captured my attention:

1. People drive on the left here. Quite frankly I can’t get used to it, I’m always looking the wrong way and I think it’s only a matter of time before I get hit by a car. That said, I do find Japanese drivers to be generally respectful of pedestrians.

2. Eggs are sold in cartons of 10, not 12. This is completely arbitrary of course, and it probably makes more sense (it’s easier to multiply by ten, right?), but it just doesn’t seem right. I miss saying “a dozen eggs.” Also, I always feel cheated out of those extra two.

3. It’s legal to drink in public here – on trains, sidewalks, while walking on the street, etc. I confess to taking full advantage of this law. The Japanese, however, do not, at least not in large numbers. Thus, it’s usually us obnoxious foreigners. Ah, well.

4. People are REALLY into their pets in Japan. Particularly dogs. It’s common to pay several thousand dollars for a purebred dog, and treat him like your child, and walk him in a stroller (okay I didn’t actually see this but my friend did), and dress him in little outfits (matching, if you’ve got more than one), and otherwise dote on little Spot.

5. Japan has quite a remarkable train system, it quite literally connects most of the country and is pretty impressive. However, getting around can be confusing for a couple reasons. First, even within Tokyo there are many different private lines (as opposed to the single MTA in New York, for example), and you have to transfer between the different lines and swipe your card at each one of them. It’s not so bad once you get the hang of it, but it can be complicated. Second, many streets are not named here! So when trying to locate a club, like we did on Saturday night in Tokyo, you have to get directions like “turn left at the 7-11” and “go two blocks until you see some trees” and things like that. Not so easy in a MASSIVE, crowded city. For as efficient and organized a country as Japan is in certain ways, it follows a bewildering logic that maybe only a Japanese person really understands…